Motivation

What motivates us? What makes a person do what they do? I am an artist, but at times I just feel so un-motivated. Why? I am not sure. I believe that I am trying to figure out where my art should go, what I should be doing. I am not sure.

Making art is something that I love to do so why are there times that I just do not care…do not feel like doing my craft…do not know what to do next…why? I also feel so terribly guilty. I should be working. I should be painting. I should just do it. However, during the day, I find myself making excuses, finding other things to do, avoiding the situation. Why? God, I wish that I knew.

I remember a time when I drew all the time. Sat in meetings at work, doodling the images of people in the meeting wishing that I could just do my art. Tell me, why do I not have that urge. Tell me, why do I feel like it does not matter any more. Just tell me. I wish that I knew.

I have a space. I have a place. I have a studio. When I sat drawing, just to draw, I had no space and I did not have that special place. Tell me. Why do I feel like it does not matter if I draw or not? Just tell me.

Goodness, I think that I beginning to understand. It is just like exercise. I detest exercising, but when I do it and keep at it each and every day. I actually like it. In fact, I love it. I look forward to actually doing it. I love the feeling, the glow of dew, the feeling of accomplishment. Hmm, maybe, just maybe, my art is like exercise. I need to do it, to practice it, to make it a part of my daily routine. I need to draw each and every day to get that feeling, that feeling of accomplishment, the glow and light from spirit within me. After all, I am an artist. I love to draw. I love to paint. I love being able to do what I do.